Not every business meal you’ll have this year will come with white tablecloths and polished silver, but you might want to act like it does. When dining with business associates, clients and colleagues, it might be helpful to behave as though “Miss Manners” was right at the table with you, judging your every move. Because, trust us, your dining companions are. Here are a few tips to get through your next business meal with class and insure that you’re not watercooler conversation the following day.
Just try it.
If you’re eating at a Thai restaurant and you have very minimal experience with this cuisine, someone at your table probably knows what they’re doing. In fact, the person who selected the restaurant might offer to order for the whole table. If that happens, the last thing you want to do is turn up your nose at what the person orders. Be open to trying new things, you’ll be surprised at what you end up liking that you never would have ordered yourself. If you are ordering for yourself, and you’re stumped, admit to your waitress or waiter that you’ve never been to this restaurant and could use a few solid recommendations. This would also be the time to ask about any allergy issues or dietary restrictions. You do not need to address these things in front of the whole group, rather discuss it quietly.
Don’t touch that chair.
If there is a female or senior citizen in your group, you might be inclined to pull out their chair or perform other actions once thought to be chivalrous. Back away from the chair. Unless you can be certain that the person will appreciate this gesture, just pull out your own chair from the table and be seated.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
It can be perceived that if a person never says thank you to the wait staff throughout the course of the meal that they don’t appreciate the person serving them. However, if every time a member of the waitstaff refills your water or brings a new dish to the table and conversation stops because you say “thank you,” it can be distracting to everyone at the table. If you’re not leading the conversation, feel free to say thank you, but don’t make a big production out of it. A smile to acknowledge the waiter or waitress, and attention when they’re speaking is as important as saying thank you after each visit to your table.
No fingers please.
We hope you’ve never been out to dinner with someone who is over the age of eight and licks their fingers in place of using their napkin. Consider this a friendly reminder to keep the use of your fingers to a minimum. If you’re at a wing joint, this will be more complicated. But in that case, look to the person who invited all the attendees, and use their behavior as a guide for what’s acceptable. We’ve had clients who have taken potential employees out to dinner and as a result of their table behavior have either extended an offer or have moved on to another candidate. Have you ever used your fingers to push the last bite of food onto your fork at a restaurant? We probably all have at some point. However, when you’re at a business gathering, use your knife to maneuver the last bites onto your fork. Sure, it’s probably a little more tricky, but it’s certainly a more polite way to make it into the “clean plate club.”
Don’t fight it.
When the meal comes to a close, don’t fight over the check. Proper etiquette says that the person who invites everyone to the meal should be the person to pay the check. Unless it’s discussed while the invitation is being made, or it’s an understanding with a colleague that you’re going to “go dutch” on your own dimes, do not make a huge production out of paying the bill. If you’re going to need to pay a portion of the bill, or offer to take care of all the charges, pull the person who invited everyone aside to discuss the circumstances. It will make everyone at the table more comfortable when the waiter or waitress asks, “will this all be together, or will there be separate checks?”
Along with the previous five tips, let’s go over some of the old stand-bys that are good reminders: don’t have too many drinks, don’t dominate the conversation, pass shared food in a clockwise rotation around the table, and “know your forks.” Keep all of our tips in mind during the next time you break bread for business reasons, and you can be assured that even “Miss Manners” would invite you to dinner again.