The news of Brad and Angelina breaking up last week rocked the celebrity world. It’s the end of a marriage between A-listers that Hollywood, and everyone who follows Hollywood celebrities, wanted to believe would last a lifetime. While this breakup likely doesn’t directly affect you, we wanted to talk about a different kind of break up that you have likely already survived at some point in your career. Whether it was having to tell your manager at Dairy Queen that you were going to get an office job for the summer, or breaking the news to the first person who took a chance on you after college that you got recruited to join the company of your dreams, you’ve had to have this tough conversation. No matter where you are in your career, there is a right way to tell your team that you’re moving on. Here are some pointers for the next time you have to “break up” with your “office family.”
1.Do discuss with your leadership first
You might be so excited about your new position that you’d like to scream about it from the rooftops. However, a massive, public announcement will not impress your company’s leadership. Get some time on the calendar of the person in your leadership that will be most affected by your departure. If requesting a meeting with this person is something that you wouldn’t normally do, they’ll likely assume that you’re going to tell them something that might not brighten their day. It might also prompt them to come to you directly and ask what’s going on. When you ask for time on their calendar, you’ll want to be prepared to have the conversation about your departure. If they approach you in a public place and ask what the meeting is about, ask if they have time to chat now, or if that’s not an option, just explain that you need 30 minutes on Friday. You don’t want to seem like you’re evading the question, and if a generic explanation won’t work, just explain that what you want to discuss is more appropriate for a less public venue. Anyone in leadership role should understand that you’ve got something sensitive to address, and a quick chat in the middle of your department isn’t appropriate.
2. Don’t kick start the rumour mill
When you’re in the process of interviewing, do your best to schedule interviews so that you’re not having to make lots of flimsy excuses for why you’re going to have to leave early or come in late. This kind of strange attendance will bring scrutiny to when you’re in the office and when you’re not, and has the potential to get the rumour mill speeding into high gear. Strange work absences coupled with an upgrade to your office attire will have everyone speculating that you’re on the hunt for a new gig. Also, everyone has a “best friend” at the office. Do NOT tell your office pal about your interview process. It’s tempting to want to loop them in to your search so they can offer a friendly ear and support, but it’s risky. Circumstances at work can change on a dime, and no matter how much you trust this person, this kind of information about you can be valuable and used in an unflattering way. Of course we all hope that this would never happen, but Hollywood didn’t exactly have to dream up the concept of a backstabbing co-worker for the plot line of so many of its movies. Proceed with caution about filling anyone in on your job search at the office until you’re giving your formal notice.
3. Don’t lead with how much vacation time you’re getting at your new job
After you make your announcement, your work family is going to want to hear about your new opportunity. Don’t lead with bragging about how much vacation time your new role includes, or the catered lunch that comes in once a week. Focus on the merits and opportunities that your new job will add to your resume or career. Take this opportunity to highlight what you’ve really enjoyed about working at your current company, and be honest about how you found the opportunity.- Because your co-workers, leadership and direct reports will want to know how you found the next step in your career.
4. If you’re a manager, DO talk to each person on your team individually
Because you’re a manager, the people on your team are going to be greatly affected by your departure. They’re automatically going to wonder what this means for their jobs, their roles, and who will come in to manage them. If at all possible, make sure that you have all the answers to these kinds of questions before you make your big announcement. Your team will feel at ease if you can fill them in on what happens next. Otherwise, you risk your team seeing this as a warning sign that their jobs are not safe, something is wrong with the company, they’re being thrown into a transition that they don’t see coming, and no one cares about them. No matter how many answers you can give each person on your team, do sit down with them individually. Discuss their concerns, talk about what they have on their plate, and do your best to listen to how they’re feeling about your departure. Not only will this help them understand your reason for leaving, it will make them feel like you’re not leaving them without a plan. Discuss how you’re going to make this transition as easy as possible, and give insight in to how the new manager will be integrated into the team. After these conversations you’ll be ready to discuss with your predecessor where each of your team member’s is at, what they’re going to need to get through this transition, and arm the new manager with the kind of data he or she will need to step in to the role as seamlessly as possibly.
5.Do offer to create and manage your transition plan
Depending on your organization, your departure announcement may result in security immediately escorting you from the building. If that isn’t company policy, you should offer to create and manage your transition plan from the minute you make your announcement to leadership. Stating something along the lines of, “I know my announcement isn’t ideal, and there will be some adjustments, but I have some ideas to make my transition easier on my team.” This statement will either be greeted with open arms and your suggestions will be welcomed, or your leadership will take more of a “we’ll take it from here” sort of approach. Either way, you’ll want to be prepared to be as involved or removed from the situation as your leadership allows.
No matter how long you have been at your current company, breaking up with your “work family” can be almost as painful as breaking up with a significant other. Using these five do’s and don’ts should help make your transition from your current employer to a new one a little less difficult for you and your “work family.”