Office chit-chat can be one thing that brings teams together. A casual conversation in the kitchen or at the watercooler about your least favorite guy on the reality show everyone is watching, or discussing last night’s ballgame can make your co-workers seem more like friends than people who you spend the majority of your week with but know nothing about. It can be human nature to cross over to the shady side of office conversations into gossip territory. Office gossip happens in every office across the planet, and by now you likely know who the person or people on your team who enjoy this pastime more than others. So while some office gossip is harmless, how do you avoid getting wrapped up into the ugly side?
- Know who you’re venting to
It’s only normal that some part of your job or client you’re dealing with will drive you crazy from time to time. However, who you pick to share your frustration with makes all the difference in the world. Ideally, you should not be choosing to tell someone who reports to you about how your boss is making your life more difficult than necessary, and you’ll also want to avoid telling someone who has been known to repeat everything that is said to them to whomever is willing to listen. Choosing the wrong person to have a vent session with can result in you being the subject of the latest juicy rumor. Additionally, passing on company gossip about leadership is just one reason why you could find yourself looking for a new job. Getting caught passing on company gossip about company leaders is one of the top four reasons employees get fired. Instead of venting to a colleague, choose a trusted friend to talk to outside of the office, journal about it, or use an app to vent about what you’re wanting to share.
- Avoid conversations that start with, “You can’t tell anyone else, but. .. . “
If you haven’t been on the receiving end of a conversation that has started this way, consider yourself lucky! If you have, you know that nothing good rarely comes out of these chats. Instead of offering to listen, change the topic of conversation. For instance, when a colleague wants to tell you something about who is getting promoted you can say something like, “I’m not the best at keeping this kind of information to myself. I’ve been known to slip up when I know things I’m not supposed to.” It’s a fairly subtle way for you to get yourself out of the situation without having to tell the other person that you want to stay out of the office gossip circle.
- Don’t believe everything you hear
If you do end up choosing the wrong person to vent to, or you can’t get out of a conversation that starts with the sentence in point number two, make sure you understand that everything you hear should be taken with a grain of salt. And the last thing you want to do is repeat what this person told you just to seem like you’re “in the know.” Even if what was told to you is true, you may find yourself in your manager’s office because it could be traced back to you. Then you’re in a position where you have to choose whether to cite your source or refuse to give up the goods on your co-worker.
- Mum’s the word
There are times when you will be told things in confidence. Your boss may need to tell you that three people on your team are going to be let go on Friday, and you have to prepare. He or she may tell you that you’re getting promoted because a new role has opened up on the executive team, and that announcement will be made next week. You may get information about bonuses or other HR decisions because it affects your ability to do your job. In these situations you may be tempted to share this information with other people on your team, but it will almost always come back to haunt you.
Oftentimes the decision to break confidence is an emotional response to the information you’re hearing. But before you give into the temptation to dispense this confidential data, think about the consequences of the conversation you’re having. After you assess your situation, if you feel like you have to talk to someone, you will likely find that circling back to discuss what’s going on with your boss is the best scenario. -While it might not always be easy, he or she will likely be the best source to answer questions you’re having or the person to strategize with regarding issues arising out of the decisions that have been made.
If you work in an office where the gossip game is strong, staying out of the circle can be hard. Even if it feels like you’re always on the outside looking in, your boss likely knows that you’re not the one driving the gossip train, and he or she will thank you for it. While it’s great to get to know your co-workers on a personal level, when that office chit chat crosses the line into topics that could land you in hot water, you will likely want to figure out some way to get out of that conversation.