It might have been a New Year’s resolution, or a diet, or both, but has there been a goal you have set for yourself, and you weren’t able to see it through to the end? What if this happens in your career? How do you recover if something happens to you that you couldn’t have imagined? How do you recover?
Of course there’s no “one size fits all” answer to recovering from a career changing blow, but there are some approaches that are more likely to put you in a mindset conducive to surviving something unpleasant.
Acknowledge what you’re afraid of
Fear is a huge four letter word. There are entire books, blogs and libraries dedicated to managing, overcoming and controlling fear. However, most of the experts agree that the first step to battling whatever you’re afraid of is to identify it. Once you identify it, you can follow these steps to prevent it from taking over your life, driving your decision making, or giving you a reason to just give up on yourself. It’s easy to lose yourself inside of fear. It’s an emotional response oftentimes supported by deductive reasoning, and is real because it is also usually accompanied by a healthy dose of logic. It’s only logical that you would be afraid to go to an interview because you don’t know how to explain in a professional way that you’re angry about losing your job. It’s logical to be afraid of asking your boss for a raise because you think he or she will tell you that you’re not worth it. But being aware of what you’re afraid of will allow you to go to work on it.
If you’re afraid of failing in an interview when talking about your previous job, call a trusted friend, mentor, or recruiter and work on an answer together that is truthful, honest, and professional.
If you’re afraid of asking your boss for a raise, start putting together a facts based case or presentation to showcase why he or she can’t live without you.
Yes, your fear is real. Yes, your fear is logical. Yes, it’s okay to be afraid, but fear does not have to paralyze you into making choices that aren’t good for your well-being, career, or family.
Learn from your experience
Whether it’s a job loss, furlough, demotion or another unpleasant career twist, there is something that you’re learning because you’re going through it. As cliche as it sounds, any of these situations provide an opportunity (although generally unwanted) to take a step back and re-evaluate what’s important. Here’s the story of Alesandria Dubin. She was laid off in 2019, and looking back said the period of transition and reflection allowed her to carve out the life she really wanted.
Ideally you’ve applied for unemployment, and have some money saved up in order to buy yourself a little time to evaluate where you’re taking your career next. You also don’t have to go through this alone. The mentor, recruiter or trusted friend we told you to call about your fears will also be the right person to talk to when you’re crafting a plan to weather the financial and emotional storm this change has brought you. Don’t feel guilty about leaning on your confidant, you will return the favor when he or she needs you.
Move forward
Dubin said she eventually got over her job loss with time. She said, “. . shock wears off, time heals.” The timeline for when to move forward is different for everyone. You might not understand why you’re feeling the way you are, or what you should call it, but you’re likely experiencing one of the five stages of grieving. Kristin Wong lost her job and catalogued her travels through the process in this article, “The Five Stages of Grief After Losing a Job,” and said managing her emotions was critical to moving forward.
Wong says, “It’s hard not to take things personally when you’re upset about losing your job, but in order to keep your self-esteem intact, try to think about the situation as objectively as possible.’
Wong acknowledges it can be hard to know when it’s time to move forward, but took the advice of a WorkitDaily.com article that stated she would be ready if she could talk about the job loss with objectivity and accountability. Meaning, she didn’t get overly emotional when talking about the situation and could recognize her role in losing her job. -Sometimes that can just be acknowledging the fact that you were the last one hired, and therefore, were the first one let go.
Any setback in life is difficult. But the ones that happen in your career can feel the most personal. If you can figure out what you’re afraid of, what you can take away from the experience, and ultimately how to move forward, this crumby event will not be anything more than something that happened to you, not the thing that defined you.