This is an age old question that has no simple answer, “Can you be friends with your boss?” It’s a tough thing to wrap your arms around because there are many different types of boss and employee relationships, and your industry may dictate how possible or acceptable it is to have a relationship outside of the office with your boss. So if you decide that you want to pursue a closer relationship than the standard boss/employee dynamic, here are some guidelines to avoid making things awkward inside and outside the office.
- Don’t expect special treatment
When you develop a friendship with your boss, you might also expect some other benefits that come along with being friends. Wouldn’t you be upset if you were urgently hoping to see your boss about a project and one of their “friends” was in their office eating up your pre-scheduled meeting time? Make sure to respect the time your boss needs to be an effective leader and mentor to the rest of your team. Don’t expect that just because you want to chat about where you two are meeting for happy hour that you can park in their office and kill an hour.
- Great communication
One benefit of having a friendship with your boss can be the great communication that comes along with being closer. This can lead to blurring of your professional and personal communication. You may have a tendency to be a little less formal with your boss inside the office, and that can spill over into other ways you interact. No matter how close of a friendship you and your boss develop, you’ll want to keep in mind that your “friend” still has the power and responsibility to fire you.
- Celebrate
If you get to the point with your boss where you’re buying each other birthday and holiday presents, you’re likely calling each other outside of the office or on the weekends to talk about other things non-work related. If you’re spending time with one another outside the office and celebrating important milestones together, don’t spend your Monday morning meeting with the rest of your team reminiscing. The likelihood of your other team members getting jealous is significant. And if your boss doesn’t have the same kind of relationship with the rest of the people in your department, your co-workers are going to think of you as the “teacher’s pet.” Even people you’ve been “work friends” with for years will start to see you in a different light, and now you and your boss have a different situation to work through.
- Maybe avoid the tequila
Happy Hour happens. And if you and your boss have a tendency to indulge on a regular basis, don’t forget to invite the rest of your team. The last thing you want to have happen is that your team feels like you and your boss are forming an exclusive clique and they’re not invited. Even if you are closer to your boss than the rest of your team you may still want to avoid those tequila shots at happy hour. Don’t let happy hour turn into the old t-shirt that was a staple of every Spring Break in the 80’s and 90’s; one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Even if your co-workers don’t let your boozy happy hour change their opinion of you, you will likely have to endure being the “life of the party” as a topic of conversation for many years to come.
- Photo overload
If you love to post photos on social media and document every Friday night you’re out with your friends, it’s best not to include selfies with your boss on a regular basis. Not only will your co-workers likely see that you two are hanging out “yet again,” but it will seem like you’re trying to tell the world through photos how close you are. Your co-workers will feel like they’re not part of the clique and will likely feel like they’re on the outside looking in, even if you don’t behave that way in the office. And if you are inadvertently acting more like friends than boss/ employee in the office, you may find yourself as the topic of some pretty unflattering office gossip.
If you are going to pursue a friendship with your boss, take these five things into account, and you’ll hopefully avoid a lot of the awkwardness that can accompany adding a person that started as a professional part of your life into your world after 5pm.