How to get better at asking your co-workers for help (without looking helpless)

10.25.2018

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Asking for help at work can feel terrifying. You are scared to look incompetent, you are afraid that your co-workers already have enough to do, and you don’t want it to get back to your boss that you can’t handle your role. Is there actually a “right way to ask for help at work?” Can you ask for help at work without looking helpless?

 

It’s all about the way you ask
You’re going to be inclined to ask a co-worker for help by saying something like, “I know I never ask for help,” or “I don’t need anything big, I’m just wondering if you could. ..” and that doesn’t work. You’re not making the person feel good about why you’re asking. Instead, you’re making it sound like they were the easiest person for you ask. So what is a better way to ask? Simply say, “Can I ask you for a favor? I think you’re an expert in billing, so you were the first person I thought to ask.”  See how that’s different? You’re being straightforward about needing something, and adding an explanation/ compliment to why you’re asking them.

 

If you help others, they’ll help you
You aren’t going to become an expert at your company without understanding how all the pieces fit together. And you’re going to need help from the other experts at your company to get there. So how do you do that? For example, if you interact with someone else that takes your work and does something else with it, you likely have to explain from time to time when things aren’t handed off perfectly. Instead of complaining about what someone else did, or why you can’t deliver, offer to help the person that’s getting it from you. Even if there’s not much you can do with it, merely offering to help lets that person know that you care, and want to make their life easier. Seeming like you’re willing to help and following through will make that person 100 times more likely to say yes to you when you inevitably need to ask for their help.

 

Sometimes it takes a village
There are challenges that will face an entire company, and the responsibility to manage some of them can fall squarely on your team. If you’re a manager or a leader on your team, it can feel insurmountable to have to ask your team for one more thing. Conversely, when you’re on a team and stretched thin, it can feel like if your boss or manager asks you to do one more thing, you’ll snap. However, as a manager or boss, if you can accompany the ask with a “we’re all in this together, and this is how we’re going to get through this” tone, you’re going to be more likely to get buy in from the whole team. Managers/ bosses, be sure to mention the perks that you can give to team members that are pitching in, and lead by example. Team members, when your boss or manager is offering to stay late, come in early, and pay bonuses for extra work, know that they consider this their responsibility too, and have no plans to leave your team to just “figure it out.”

 

Follow up and say thank you
It’s likely that you said thank you after the initial assistance was given, but did you tell the person that helped you how it impacted your life or job?  It is so easy to forget to tell the person who helped how their advice or expertise actually worked for you. He or she will really appreciate hearing how what they said or did really benefited you. It also gives you another opportunity to say thank you again, and offer to return the favor when they need something.

 

It might seem like asking for help is the worst way to show your co-workers that you trust and value them. However, it is actually one of the easiest ways to demonstrate your faith in their abilities. Not only will they appreciate you asking if you don’t know how to do something, they’ll appreciate the opportunity to show you how to do it the correct way, and it will give them the chance to feel good about teaching you something they know. So instead of fearing the worst, go ahead and ask for help.

 

One caveat here, if you have asked the same person four times to show you the same thing, they may feel less inclined to go through it with you again. If you have to ask a fifth time, make sure you’re taking notes, or explain that you’ve gotten this far, but are stuck at this point. It’s likely that even then the person will help you out, you may just be on the verge of making this person feel like they can’t teach you, or you need a new way to learn it.