You just got the call. You know, the call you’ve been waiting for. . . The one that determined whether the most critical set of interviews you’ve ever been through landed you your dream job, or not. If “the call” delivered what feels like the worst career news of your life, it can feel impossible to bounce back. This Psychology Today article explains why job rejection is so difficult and personal, yet it happens to everyone,“..No matter how strong or weak the economy is, no matter how much you try, no matter how qualified you are, the answer to “Will you hire me?” is more often than not, “No.” Here are some do’s and don’ts to get you back on the road to recovery after a devastating job rejection.
Do: Remember you are more than just your job
That’s easier said than done, we know. As Alison Doyle, a job search expert at the Balance Careers told the New York Times, “So much of who we are is wrapped up in work, but you are more than your job.” When you read this statistic: Adults employed full time report working an average of 47 hours per week, which equates to nearly six days a week, according to money.cnn.com, it can feel impossible not to be defined by your job. However, Ms. Doyle is right. You are more than what you do 40 to 47 hours a week. You have hobbies and a life outside of work, and you owe it to yourself not to let one rejection catapult you into a spiral of self doubt and depression. If work and the interview process caused you to squeeze out the people and things you love, make it a priority to reconnect with them post-interview. You’ll feel better just by getting back to focusing on something other than the way you earn your living.
Don’t: Obsess Over Every Detail
Again, easier said than done. And, it can feel healthy to review the interview process and how you handled it to learn if there are areas where you could potentially improve. Learning from our disappointments is a key attribute to fostering personal and professional growth. However, there is a fine line between assessing and obsessing. Don’t go back through the process again and again and beat yourself up for every little thing that could have struck the wrong tone with the interviewer. Walk through your experience once with a trusted mentor or confidant, record your learnings, and move on.
Don’t forget about the competition
Is this the only company on the planet that has your dream job? Seriously. Check out the competition. Are they hiring for your dream job? Get after it.
Do: let yourself wallow
If you just push the feelings down and don’t experience them, or just pretend like the rejection never happened, you’re not going to learn how to deal with rejection. As the Psychology Today article explains, “Learning to handle rejection is one of most important skills you can develop in your job search. If you are afraid of rejection you will be less likely to pursue opportunities, and you are more susceptible to depression and anxiety.” So while understanding and experiencing your feelings related to your rejection is not fun, it is likely to benefit you in your career search for years to come. Just don’t let your wallowing become your new normal; know when it’s time to ditch the couch and get out in the world again.
Do get the skills that will strengthen your candidacy the next time
Was there a skill that the selected candidate had that you didn’t? If this is really your dream job, and the skill is a “must have,” you should consider taking the course or getting the experience that the other candidate had.
Do: Send a Thank You Note
It might seem counterintuitive to send a note to your interviewer that didn’t give you the job, but it will do two things. One, it will show that you are classy and can handle rejection. Two, it will keep you top of mind should the selected candidate not work out, or another position in a similar area or level becomes available. You are also demonstrating that you aren’t taking this personally, and the rejection is not swaying your desire to work at the company. Again, it might sound crazy, but it has been a strategy used by candidates that put them at the top of the hiring manager’s list the next time there was an opening.
If you’re reeling from not getting your dream job, we know you don’t want to hear the old “there are so many other fish (jobs) in the sea.” However, there really are other jobs out there. And if you take at least some of the advice above, you’ll channel your disappointment into something other than wallowing and carving your body outline in your couch, be able to shake off the negative experience, and turn it into something positive.