If you’ve ever gotten a bad review at work, it’s unlikely that you received a $1 million lawsuit to go with it. This couple is being sued for giving a pet sitting company a bad review for overfeeding their betta fish, and are citing the first amendment as their defense for being able to leave the review. Your boss won’t use the first amendment as a defense for giving you an unflattering assessment, but what are the best ways to handle the criticism? Here are some do’s and don’ts to get you through this common, uncomfortable scenario.
DON’TS
Do NOT fly into a blind rage
Your first instinct, after you get over the shock of hearing negative adjectives used to describe your performance, is to react. Your reaction might be anger, it might be sadness, or it could be prolonged shock. The first key to handling the news is not to let your reaction impact your ability to hear what your boss or manager is telling you. Take a moment, breathe and listen to what’s being said. If you’re only focused on your own reaction and the thoughts spinning in your head, you’re going to miss what you need to be paying attention to. Controlling your emotions in this situation can be difficult, and certainly something you weren’t likely trained to do. However, your ability to calmly listen to the criticism and respond will demonstrate where you’re at from an emotional intelligence perspective, and likely impact how your boss or manager delivers unpleasant news to you in the future and also his or her overall impression of you as an employee.
Do NOT get defensive
The first words out of your mouth after your boss or manager has completed the review of the aspects of your job that he or she wishes you were more effective at handling should not be, “But, but, but. . . .” If you disagree about what’s being said about your performance, you’re likely going to spring into defensive mode where you want to list all the examples of when you can disprove what’s being said about areas needing improvement in your work. Instead of leading with an attack on their feedback, respond with something like, “I think I understand your feedback, but I have a different perspective. Can I explain why I handled the situation/employee/event/problem that way?” You’re starting your response with telling your boss or manager that you heard what was said, you’re not attacking their critique, and you are about to give a nuanced explanation of the outcome. Remember, this is not the time to make excuses or blame someone else for what your manager is saying. Once you’ve given your explanation, your boss or manager might have a follow up question or two, or it might become clear that you two are going to have to agree to disagree.
Do NOT involve your co-workers
If you would like to fly out of your review and directly into your work bestie’s office, resist the urge. Even if you’re not talking about your review, if your boss or manager walks by and sees you chatting with your work bestie, it’s going to be assumed that you’re dishing all the dirt about your review. Even though it would probably feel amazing to vent about what just went on during your review, save your vent session for a later date. After a little reflection, you’ll likely be less upset, and have fewer negative things to say about your boss and experience. You’ll want to avoid saying anything that you might have to apologize for later if your conversation is overheard by someone that was not invited to join in. Additionally, you might also be influencing how your work bestie feels about his or her upcoming review. However, if he or she has a different manager, or has a role that is distinctly different than yours, your experience may not apply, and you’re just adding to the stress level around the office.
DO’S
DO ask questions
When we recommend that you ask questions, they should not be yelled at your boss or manager, or compare your performance to your co-workers. Saying something like, “Well did you tell so-and-so that he/she couldn’t spend XYZ on ABC,” will only make you look like you’re jealous of a co-worker, and it will not reflect positively on you. It may lead your boss to say something like, “If you spent as much time managing XYZ as you do keeping track of what your co-managers are doing, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” The questions you should be asking should be about clarifying any part of the feedback that you don’t understand, or asking how you could improve your performance.
DO put together an action plan
If you’re in a good enough place to calmly discuss ideas to bring areas of your performance up to expectations, offer to discuss ways you could improve your work, and a potential timeline for checking back in to measure your improvement. This could be a wake up call for your manager about your need for more regular feedback, additional mentorship, or help in your department. This could also be what inspires you to change how you manage your team. Are you just managing tasks, or are you seeing the whole picture and managing based on outcomes? It might seem like only a small shift would be required in what you’re focusing on, but you’ll likely find it will change what you need from yourself and your team. It’s normal to want to zero in on what you’re doing wrong, but if you acknowledge your shortcomings, step back and focus on how to move forward in a way that will get you meeting goals and objectives, you will be viewed by your manager or boss as pro-active and wanting to do what’s best for your team and organization.
DO follow up
Even if your boss or manager sets a timeline and says they’ll check back in with you in 30 days, make sure the date is on your calendar, and you understand how your improvement will be measured. Ultimately, it’s your responsibility to show your boss or manager that you are improving, and need to own the process. If you’re into your 30 day plan and you know that you’re not going to meet one of the assigned benchmarks, communicate that to your boss in advance of the deadline. He or she should appreciate the open communication about the issue, and any remedies you’re putting in place. However, you’ll need to be ready to explain what’s standing in your way from meeting the benchmark, and be open to additional feedback.
DO learn from the feedback
If this is the first time you’ve ever had a negative review, don’t give in to the inclination to bury your head in the sand and blame your manager for “having it out for you.” Instead, try to be as objective as possible about what you’ve heard, and take a hard look at your performance. Are you giving this role your “all” and still falling behind? Do you like what you’re doing? Do you think this is the role for you? If you think you can improve in the ways that your manager would like, this could all come down to a simple misunderstanding of expectations and goals. If you’re finding that everything is harder than it should be, it might be time to start exploring potential career moves.
A negative review doesn’t have to sound the death knell in your career. Instead, it can provide a springboard for you to get to know how you handle criticism, open a dialogue in a more meaningful way with your boss or manager, and/or give you inspiration to take a hard look at other career options. You don’t have to run for the exit, but if the review and accompanying follow up after the review seems like you aren’t cut out for the job, there’s no shame in being proactive about finding your next opportunity.